Clients will sometimes tell me that they don’t need a parenting plan as both sides are amicable. My answer to this is “The best time to create a parenting plan is when you are amicable.”

Working on a detailed parenting plan with your co-parent from a place of calm can avoid disagreements in the future. It can help set boundaries for both sides and create a foundation for co-parenting, as well as structure for the child.

It can be overwhelming, especially if going through a separation when emotions are volatile. However making the decisions which will dictate your family’s new routine, when done correctly, can be hugely beneficial in the long term.

With cases involving very young children, this can mean many years of co-parenting and making decisions at various stages of the child’s life. As children grow, their needs and circumstances will change. For these reasons, it can be helpful to have a document you can refer back to and use as guidance, even for future scenarios which may not seem important today.

What is a parenting plan?

A parenting plan (or co-parenting agreement) is a document outlining how separated parents will raise their children. It can consist of any topics related to the child, including the following:

• General principles – hopes for the child and your role as co-parents.
• Child arrangements – how the child will spend time between each household on a routine and consistent basis.
• Holiday arrangements – many parents will have a separate schedule for the school holidays.
• Holidays (UK and abroad) – agreed conditions if one parent wants to take the child abroad, details that need to be exchanged, who will keep the child’s passport etc.
• Special days – how the child’s time is spent during important occasions, such as Christmas, birthdays, mothers day, father day, religious days etc.
• Education & schooling – where the child will attend school, attending school events, parents evenings, homework etc.
• Welfare of the child – responsibility for booking appointments such as, medical, dentist, optometry and also in emergency situations.
• Childcare costs – child maintenance and other childcare costs, such as school trips, uniforms, clubs/activities.
• New partners – if either parent meets a new partner, agreed conditions around introductions to the child and their involvement.
• Communication between the parents – effective communication is essential for successful co-parenting. Keeping each other informed about important issues and concerns about the child will benefit the child immensely.

Is a parenting plan legally binding?

A parenting plan is not a legally binding document. However if both parents wish to make it legally binding, this can be done once the agreement is drawn up and the mediation process is completed.

As children grow, their needs and circumstances will change and you may need to make changes and amendments to the agreement. In most cases, when both parents have created the agreement together and are comfortable with the details, the agreement will be adhered to by both sides.

The approach and focus on the the child

The journey to start co-parenting can be challenging and there is a need for both sides to be flexible and accommodating when necessary. There will be times when there may be an emergency situation or changes in circumstances and the primary focus should always be the well-being and best interests of the child.

Successful co-parenting requires consistency, commitment and flexibility. Having an agreement in place to refer back to can maintain a structure for the child and contribute to a healthy environment for raising them.

Next steps

If you would like more information and guidance on a parenting plan, you can also refer to the Cafcass site where you can find details of their parenting plans. These are approved by the family courts.

If you are unable to agree on the parenting plan, and you have attempted mediation, you have the option to get a child arrangements order (CAO) via the family courts. You can read more about the role of family courts here.

Please get in touch if you would like to know more about parenting plans or need guidance on the process.